How I don't "get it all done"

No productivity hacks over here...just some country kids eating grasshoppers

I recently went out for coffee with another mom (something I rarely do these days. It was a treat for both of us.) As we talked about raising kids, cooking, cleaning, hobbies, all the things, I joked, “I feel like I do a full day’s work from the hours of 9:00-11:00 pm.”

It was a joke, but there was some truth to the statement. When I was new at homemaking and had three kids in diapers, everything took longer. I probably get more done in my evenings now, than what would have taken me the entire day before.

Photo by Jonathan Francisca on Unsplash

These fall days find me baking more sourdough bread, cookies, brownies, and muffins. Mason jars with cold brew coffee have switched to steaming mugs of London Fog tea. Carefree days of gathering barefooted kids in the van to go to the park, pool, or bonfire, have turned to homeschool schedules and housebuilding workdays. (My husband does the building, I do the cooking.)

Everyone I talk to lately wants to know when our house is going to be finished. And I laugh and say, “I’d like to know that too!”

Although I do accomplish a lot in the evenings and throughout the entire day, the lists are constantly growing. As one thing gets checked off, five more are written in its place. This is true of our house-build as well as all the ordinary tasks involved with keeping the home and raising kids.

Our house will be done someday. It does have an end date, although we can’t say for sure what that day is yet. Everything else though— are you ever done cooking, cleaning, folding laundry? Those everyday tasks don’t have the same kind of finish line.

I enjoy watching YouTube videos of homemakers cleaning and talking about how they “get it all done.” But lately I wonder about these phrases.

People look at me sometimes and ask, “How do you do it all?” As if raising seven little kids makes me some kind of supermom with super-human abilities. The truth is, I don’t. I really don’t “do it all” and I don’t “get it all done.” A friend of mine asked me recently how I had the time to write her a letter. Did I have time to write the letter?

I write lists, I use calendars, I get up as early as I can. I do all the productivity I can muster. But the thing is, I still struggle to look at all the to-do’s and figure out what I can reasonably expect to get done, and what I can drop. And then there are all the little things that will never be a calendar reminder or list item but are just as or more important than that dentist appointment.

There are the friends who need to be checked-in with, the cards to write, the sick kid who needs an extra snuggle. This week my quiet time during naps got interrupted about 14 times one afternoon because of a grasshopper.

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Here’s what happened:

My sweet boys found a grasshopper while they were playing outside.

“Can we have a cup?”

I said no. Do you know how many cups have never been returned to me? They ended up finding a dirty Tupperware cup and a sparkly red cowgirl hat, and used those to trap the grasshopper inside.

I was expecting soon they’d be sneaking it into their bedroom to keep as a pet. No, I find out after the 5^th time they came inside, that they want to know what part of the grasshopper you can eat. My five year old is hard to understand at times so I had to clarify, “You want to know what grasshoppers can eat?”

“No,” he says, smiling, “What parts can you eat?”

“You want to eat the grasshopper?”  (I don’t know why this came as a surprise to me.)

“Uh-huh!”

I give him a funny look.

“Can you ask Google?” He asks, looking up at me innocently.

I was on the phone with my sister while I washed dishes (yes, this was part of relaxing during quiet time). She could hear all this and was laughing. I told her to “ask Google” for me.

“All of it. Google says you can eat all of it.”

At this point, the baby woke up, so I continued chatting with my sister while I nursed him. I love nursing, especially while hiding away in my bedroom.

One of the boys comes in asking if they can use a knife to cut it into thirds. They want to share. How sweet.

“Fine. Go outside.”

About five minutes later my daughter comes in, huge grin on her face.

“What do you want?” It’s clear she’s up to something.

“The boys want to know if they can have honey with the grasshopper.”

I’m annoyed at this point, imagining the honey jar spilling its liquid gold all over the back deck. All for a silly grasshopper.

“Honey?”

Pause.

“So they can be like John the Baptist.” She explains, sheepishly.

It takes me a second to put two and two together.

“Sure. They can have honey.”

“But wait! Put some on a spoon, don’t bring the whole jar out!” I call after her.

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Things like this don’t get put in a schedule or task-list. I laughed about the grasshopper snack the rest of the day, and in fact I’m still laughing about it. Three of the kids did end up eating it, with honey, “like John the Baptist.”

There is clearly more to our days than all the things that need to be done. On a more serious note though, how do we get the important things done, the ever-growing lists, all while trying to eat meals and love our people? I don’t have an answer to that.

I ask God to order my weeks and my days and remember that He’s the God who can move mountains and some days…those mountains are my laundry piles. On others, those mountains are my own stubbornness, thinking that surely, I ought to be able to do it all myself and have that supermom strength, when really…I’m still just me.

There is more to these autumn days than school schedules and productivity. There are grasshoppers and honey, there are sourdough pancakes on a Saturday morning, there are wild kids who will keep you on your toes.

— Catherine Pfenning

I’d love to hear from you:

What do you look forward to as the weather gets colder? Do you find the change from summer to fall overwhelming as commitments and schedules change?

What do you think about the whole idea of “getting it all done?”